night swimming in space

almost ending

2009-12-07T01:39:12Z

3 months and something something that i didn't get to write as much. not even for the wedding, the big day and the honeymoon part. oh well, i became such a big mess that i didn't even bother to at all. :)

now that everything's over, i'm more than relieved to know that the only big thing left to do, is moving. yay :)

i'm ecstatic about the new place (and the cabinets that i'll be occupying)!

p.s.
i'm back LJ! i missed you :)

the atmosphere

2009-08-23T23:21:34Z

sitting.
waiting.
wishing.

tired but still playing farmville. like i didn't come home at 6 in the morning and has to go on duty at 2 in the afternoon. energy boost!
haha.. LOL. =)

i don't have time to idle but i'm really really really finding ways to do so.
someone should stop, i mean, SLAP me. right in the face. haha.

i still have a lot of things to do for the wedding and both herwin and i are procastinating, doing some farmville time.
HARVEST!!

where are we?

2009-08-13T00:15:01Z

right here..

after months of preparing, all we've left to do is:
-send hordes of packages to diff locations. entourage cloths, jusi's and invitations.
-finalize music list (kahirap!)
-decide on what band.
-manage to gather our old pictures and choose from a thousand over the years we're together.
-find prenup location.
-minimize the guests. originally it was supposedly a 250 body count then it blew out to about 400 tentatively. we'll have them standing up at the reception hahahaha.
-fix HM schedule. singa check. cruise check. get taiwan visa. --very excruciating.
-order sky lanterns.
-little things. and i have no more idea of what they are. haha

-wedding shoes!

the jitters are quite... gone :)

better that than becoming bridezilla!

fresh start: online shopping for the new you!

2009-02-01T01:40:45Z

vintage cabin

got lots of new hot items for you :)
check out the links below:

cowl neck dresses
maxi dresses
plain sleeveless dresses
assorted dresses
checkered/plaid dresses
summer dresses

statement tees
vintage minnie mouse shirts
PrP inspired shirts
assorted blouses

diving head first

2008-10-27T23:50:42Z

i am lost.

find me!

a week and a half

2008-10-07T23:13:26Z

MORE!

until i die of waking up early everyday to go to work and train for roulette
then proceed to my 8 hour duty til 10pm..

but i love the game :)
so it's gotta be worth the sacrifice!

we've been sleeping between breaks haha.

finally

2008-09-29T16:43:52Z

ifellinlovewithitrightawaywithoutadoubt. clickclick.

dreaming

2008-09-19T21:02:31Z

it's about 5 am, im still up and daydreaming about the what might have beens.
damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

it's gonna haunt me for a lifetime. haha.
nah, depends.
the way i look at yesterday, it all seemed... like yesterday. like gone forever.
memories aren't vivid enough without the help of pictures.
and i curse myself for having a lot of those proofs.

ohwell. not much to say..
a week without herwin constituted freedom to do whatever i want
like the time i visited denise, did some groceries.. puffed some cigs.. joke!! haha. gotcha.
aw, it has become so long a time. one week is long enoughhh for me to want to kill him.
i miss that man!

lucky

2008-09-17T16:52:56Z

aww it fits...

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fell the air
I put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

</div>

it will certainly be on my W song list.

oh brother.

2008-09-16T18:39:26Z

he needs a footspa. i'm looking at his exposed feet right now as he sleeps beside me.
sorry. haha.
ever since i got home, it somehow got automatic: we're gonna sleep in the same room: the masterbedroom. though my room is already livable since i've done the cleaning myself, i still don't feel the need to sleep underneath the glow in the dark stars.

maybe because i'm just lazy. or just waiting for nothing. or for mom to come home from dubai next week.
tentative.

anyway, i took a detour from work. on impulse i went to denise's house and spent the rest of the night talking with her sister's friends about kikiks and mumu's... the reason i came home extra late am afraid i'll hear some lashing from herwin's mouth on the morrow. haha.

nah. he won't. he loves me too much to stay mad.
i had a very good reason though, i got scared.
haha.

it's weird. it's just this week that the feeling of being engaged sunk in.
now that herwin's gradually discussing about the date decision thingy.

shucks. i'm screwed. and clueless. and unready. haha.
i'm secretly waiting for the things to come naturally...
but i guess it's not happening.
so i'm gonna need help in everything.

someday.
i'm still delaying though! haha. i do have a few things that i want to do..
like learning how to sew dresses (ofcourse using a sewing machine...) ahahaha..
i have a lot of designs in mind.

i also want to continue my masters again.
get into photography classes..
baking (which is far from happening)
swimming (this one i like sooner)

ayayayayyyyyyyy so many things.. so little time.

in the end, i won't do even a single thing i've mentioned above.
but i'm hoping against hope that i would.

disappointment

2008-09-15T16:10:16Z

i have a 2 day suspension to serve two months from now.

AMEN.

gah i feel so bad about it.. or not so bad about it.
they say you'll never be a certified dealer unless you get suspended.
(fordaloveofgaddd i just forgot to collect one losing bet worth 1k!!! and i did take it too late.
much too late and i didn't check -- that's the part where it got complicated)

self rectification.
that term SUCKS!

but then again.. 2 days..

the bad part is, i marred dada's good name.. it's so hard to live up to his reputation.
NAKAKAHIYA. and because it's a close knit atmosphere, i'd hate to look like i'm not good enough.
or that i have this careless attitude.

the good part though,
it's gonna be a vacation when i serve those two days! :)
i don't care if there's no pay as long as i get an instant 2 days of doing nothing but fun!!

anyway.. i'm like pms-ing so i swear i'm much more annoyed this week.

as if dada didn't get suspended before.
his was much worse! haha 2 weeks i think. or was it 30 days.. haha
but everybody loved him..

and i'm like.. hey, i'm still new -- that means they don't give a shit just yet.

LIKE FATHER LIKE DAUGHTER.
hahahahaha.
how ironic!

excited

2008-09-15T04:39:47Z

anyone who knows a fengshui master??

herwin says we need him.
even if i don't really believe in that kinda stuff.

we need to choose a date already :)
hehehe!

today's baccarat derby down at work.
i'll be wearing a headset.. and i'll be announcing my every deal.
just like in the movies. hahaha.
ew.

OH we were the champions yesterday! sexy bracket badminton together with fellow dealers.
hehehehe! the game that lasted only an hour and a half since we won 3 times in a row. :)

major sweat.

my list of godchildren was added too yesterday.
baby enzo was cute.

and i still think i'm not yet ready to bear children haha.

whatmore?
nothing. herwin's gone to manila for a week...
and i guess i don't have to feel lonely! hahahaha

i have to accept all the bookings made with friends so as not to disappoint them :)

dumb and dumber

2008-09-12T15:20:10Z

sumalto ako sa mesa..

hehe.

and i did "self rectify".
tapos nahuli ako ng cctv.

hehehe.

nakakainis!

very guilty. haha.

grilling

2008-09-10T15:42:48Z

atleast i have a day offf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need a back surgery! hahahaha.

grabe di na kaya kapag deal ng deal for the entire duty.. even if i have ample time spent on breaks.

shiet.

bakasyon! where are you?? hehehe

tomorrow day off na.
we'll go barbecuing sa garden with a few friends.
hayshalamat!!! spareribs!!
come to mima hehe

ghost of a good thing

2008-09-10T03:56:32Z

i hear funny creepy sad happy stories about DAD in the office.

i've listened to atleast 4 ghostly incidents.
apparitions.
his trademark polo barong (the one with the short sleeves -gusot mayaman)
watching near his office...
near the clinic..

and of course, the chapel..

SO WHY DOESN'T HE SHOW UP when i'm around!!

I WANT TO SEE HIM MYSELF..

it's a good thing that he seems to be a happy ghost :)

funfilled thursday

2008-09-04T14:44:49Z

i managed to do a lot of things today :)
and that seems to be a good sign!

i watched herwin get drilled by the dentist.
we ate seafoods for lunch.
sugbang panga, pusit and kinilaw

went to the bank to fix my time deposits.
that's without trying to understand whatever. i hate banks!
never seemed to internalize what cheques are for blah blah. haha.

took herwin for an i.d. picture at SSS.
(yes, he just got an SSS id. feeling 21 hehehe)

reserved our booth for the Davcon Xmas Bazaar
(yes, it starts as early as august! damn)

met up with his dad at the mall for the carshow.
they just bought the newest toyota hilux..
and they're the first owner here in davao.
shux, and they're planning to buy a new crv too.
5 cars already - one for each
(where's the paken justice!!! hehe)

at the back of my mind:
hmm..so it's a good thing i'm marrying his son after all...
JOKE! :)

he dropped me off at kangaroo coffeehouse.
had a good tasting conversation with barbie and maning.
forgot to order because of the juicy gossips.
forgot everything else because we were seriously talking
animatedly regarding our fellow friends.

did some groceries with herwin right after.
cleaned my room -- 80 percent done with the unpacking.
my pile of clothes never seem to diminish.
hay sakit sa ulo.
i need to lessen the stuff more
even if i already gave away two balikbayan boxes
and 2 garbage bags. gr!

my 2 newly bought lomo cams arrived!
i shall name them whistle (vivitar wide & slim)
and blow (holga 120n)..
you can literally do that to the toy.
it's a hollow plastic that's so old school..
it can literally make you laugh..
with its plastic casing and the funny buttons.

nevertheless, i love both!

......eto na naman si herwennnn mangenge-alam na naman ng camera....
pro daw sha.

see, i'm very productive today. not a single time wasted! :D

fast forward

2008-09-03T16:06:32Z

there's only one thing i keep worrying myself about:

who's going to be the photographer on my own big day?

that's about it.

hahahaha.
i have a lot of people in mind.. i think i'm going to offer them a free pictorial. invite them over. blah.
hay.

not yet thinking about gowns, about invitations..

the crazy crazy line up of entourage.. -- this is the hardest part!!!!

I THINK (NO, I'M SURE!) I'LL HAVE AT LEAST 2 MATRON, 3 MAID OF HONOR AND 7 BRIDESMAIDS.
HOW BOUT THAT. HAHAHAHA

motiff.

venue.

and whatever else is essential (because i really am not a certified bridezilla)

yes, i am ecstatic when it comes to weddings, but i can't see myself knowing the particulars that well ever.

i am definitely not a bridal magazine scanner nor a fan of reading such matters.

i'm the first to be engaged in the group.. (except for 2 friends who got married --- tummy-tied)

so i have other interested friends who wants to take care of the business (now that's how i like it!) haha :)

clearly i am the most uninterested party in this event. just because i am an ignorant fiance.
(haha fiance. i thought they were just in the movies.)

anyhoo. i'm very much enjoying my day to day scene here back home, although i miss him more often.
we're like conjoined twins. so hard to separate without feeling lost.

HERE, i can do the things i want! i can go places before i go to work without having trouble with time management.
i can run in circles, do laps in the pool, play with my dogs, take lots of pictures, see various friends, clean the house,
eat out, tumingin sa ulap.. titigan ang buwan... stargazing..... scuba.. skim... BEACH! overnight.. roadtrips... read!
(infact i'm currently hooked to stephenie meyer series ---- since all my friends are badgering me already.)

much like my INTERESTS in friendster. hahahahahahahah!
i must be radioGAGA :)

SARAAAPPP!!! :)

giddyap

2008-09-02T23:11:57Z

i'm sooo excited!

my holga lomo and vivitar cam are coming to town.. :)
i'm deadly inlove with vignette.
nevermind the slash on my pocket, it's a treasure worth buying :)

here's to more shots!

happy 58th monthsary BABA :)

how i wish

2008-09-01T02:06:27Z

i need more than 24 hours a day.
to be able to do the things i ain't done yet and that includes cleaning my space!

how i wish we'll only have 6 hours of work a day..
and i do even have lesser than that.
a 5 1/2 hour to be precise,
it's just that the 2 1/2 extra hours are being subdivided into breaks.
so it's still an 8 hour job.
PFFFT..

how i wish there were longer cloudy afternoons..
if you read my mind, i dream of a long 5 o' clock setting.
just enough to cool the senses.

how i wish i could come to work whenever i pleased.
i'd very much give up work for outings,
a beach overnight perhaps.

how i wish i have my own business running about now..
so i won't have to worry about my schedule.

but as sad as it may sound,
i am not meant for those....
not until i move my butt around and get into some action.
and in time i really will..

as of now, i'm currently happy with my situation.
dealer life here in davao is super funnnnn :)
i'd be training for Roulette guys!! :)
wahooooo!
i wasn't able to upgrade back in manila for the reason that
i still lack two games in order to train for it.

but here in davao, they're allowing me. ohyes! :)
challenge here i come.. :)

so for the meantime, i choose to relax and take things slowly..
business will come in the near future.
i truly believe in the saying: "god will provide" hehe :)

the kickass proposal story

2008-08-27T18:27:47Z

HAHA.

well he just proposed in a way i would never understand as to WHY.

let's just say i was tooooooo ugly to be proposed at:
me in my pyjamas and a big football shirt, tangled hair.. and shall i say, stinky. period.
plus! a broom on the hand to boot. hahaha. in short, i looked perfectly like a witch, a slum, or whatever you can imagine.. i was that.

he says he chose the moment for me to feel that he was sincere and that he loves me despite of my present and unusual state. (whatta crap! hahahaha.)

hayuun i thought he was only joking.. but he was looking at me like a love sick puppy.. like he had a face of "together forever" stuck in his forehead..and even when he already showed me the ring in all its glory inside the tiny box i still thought he was joking.. i didn't even manage a weak reply until he told me that he already asked permission from my mom.. and from my brother too.. and his parents.. and almost all our dear friends.
that's when i went teary eyed.. and asked "are you sure?!" hahaha.

what can i say, he got 5 stars for the effort! haha.
(also crying because i felt betrayed bwahahahaha. shocked and betrayed. i was oblivious. and of course, i should be hahaha.)

i said a big "YES" after that :)

he went ring shopping for 3 weeks prior to the proposal without me knowing about his whereabouts.. then i heard a lot of our friends took efforts in offering suggestions on how to propose. there was even one who suggested to publish it on all summit magazines. bwahahaha.

but he opted for his own unique proposal. great.

who do you know that got proposed at their very worst?! haha :)
he's a winner! and i love him for his originality. :)
he gained himself another 5 stars for that! hehe

herwin tan,
it's payback time!
you still owe me a cheesy one! =D
i kid.
i'm going to kick your ass! :D

mr. & mrs. tan

2008-08-27T01:40:39Z

i'm dropdead inlove with this soundtrack eversince i've seen this part of the film!

i guess in everyway (except for the guns and some artilleries) we're very much like mr. & mrs. smith. i think we'll end up like them in the near future too.. we fight not because we don't love each other but because we're having fun doing it.

there's something there. :)

when i'm Zzzzz...

2008-08-22T21:29:31Z

kinda reminds me of my life with my dad.
miss him So so soSo So So so So sO so sososo much.
and i hope i'd dream of him..
i kinda want him to say something about this one particular topic i have in mind. :)

wait wait there's more!
pero tinatamad ako. haha.

sting - fields of gold
spandau ballet - gold
- true
billy joel - just the way you are
- she's always a woman to me
songs of bread.. america.. kenny loggins.. lionel richie..
MALOLOKA NA AKO!!!!!!!!!! time to sleeeeeeepppyyyyyy sleep sleep.
sleep. hahahahah.

missing engineering life

2008-08-20T00:07:16Z

hahahahahaha!

you have to see the middle part! so funny! hahaha
i miss being a crazy engineering student.

we didn't win cheering competitions (as far as 5 years of being in school) but we definitely grab attention with our mean engineering colors of black and orange.. plus the craziness.

going as far as creating a cheer way back shouting : "wala miy bayot!"
translation: "wala kaming bakla!"

hahahaha
meaning to trashtalk others for having gays in their divisions.
how lame! but it was only for the fun of it guys.. no offense meant!

how i miss engineering life.. hay :)

umbelibabol!!

2008-08-19T23:29:48Z

the pros ~~and cons~~ of my new habitat ,ergo davao casino filipino... is this:

3 minutes travel time to work!

bwahahahaha! *insert super evil grin*
swear!

jump for joy!
so glad to be back HOME!

birthday salubong

2008-08-15T01:17:10Z

august 14th for me was emotional, liberating and odd.

my heart was tugging when i said my sad stricken goodbyes to my fellow dealers, pit supervisors, operations personnel, pit managers, shift managers.. and all those whom i've known in the year i've been working at Hyatt Casino.

i was really about to shed a tear! it's so hard to leave when you know they'd love for you to really stay behind for a really long time.. (and surely it would happen if not for my transfer request)

it's really not easy having to build all that camaraderie then just leave everything. they were saying their good riddances and smooth easy "take cares", "miss you's" and whatnots.

waaaahhhhh i'll badly miss those people whom i've grown to love and develop strong friendship with! ang dami nila! after all, i was their "bunso" and "little baby girl" i felt like i was resigning instead of just being transferred to a branch even though i know davao branch would truly embrace me more and give the exact care those hyatters showed me.

mixed emos....

i too am happy to be home bound. it's what i originally wanted. and still want. i miss my goddamn dogs! and friends too!
if only there were two of ME.

i'd dearly love to be in two places at one time! haha :)

dammit it's so hard!! so help me GoD :)

my last day at hyatt would be on sunday on an 8 to 4 shift :)
today's my birthday leave. tomorrow's my day off.
monday would be travel time.
tuesday would be my first day on a 10pm to 6 am sched.

that's it.
the finality of my going back home...
i'll also miss the condo. haha.
shyeet dis is itttttttttttttttttttttt!!